Self Confidence & Body Image: Week 3

This week has been a pretty good week! The dramas at work have quietened down meaning I've been able to concentrate more on my challenge. I've continued with my running on a morning which is really making me feel good about myself. I can see my body changing (finding it very hard to keep off the scales to see if my numbers are dropping), and I feel much more awake and happier when I get to work. It's definitely helping.

I went back to my dance group this week. I was a bit tired when I got there and my mind wasn't quite as switched on as I thought it would be so I struggled to pick up the routine. I knew I wasn't top notch at it, but when I got a copy of the recording I realised how far behind everyone else I was. It was pretty embarrassing! I stood out so much and looked like such an idiot. But instead of dwelling on it, I accepted it and made the effort to move past it. I've spent the past week re-learning the choreography from the video so that tomorrow at rehearsal I can give it a better go.

I'm not the best performer, but I enjoy it, and I'm willing to work to improve. Not going to worry about one bad rehearsal any more or let it put me off.

The point at which I really noticed my confidence improving was on Thursday. I was invited to attend a Colour Me Beautiful event being run by Ernst & Young Women's Network with one of my work colleagues. The event was well attended and EY had provided us with food and drinks for throughout the night.

Our colour consultant talked us through the different colours, she asked for anyone who thought they were in the Light category to step up to the front. I was one of about five that did. She took a look at all of us, asked a couple of questions and decided I was the perfect example of a Light and volunteered me for her demonstration.

I hate being focus of attention in front of a room full of people. I normally start to fidget, my cheeks start to flush, and I get quite panicky. This night I didn't. I could feel myself fidgeting at the beginning, but I had a mental word with myself, stood up straight and just embraced it.

I didn't blush. I didn't panic. I didn't shake. I didn't fidget. I actually enjoyed it.

As her first volunteer of the night I got quite a good consultation for free. She told me I was a Light Cool, and that I'd suit very subtle colours, and blue based colours (rather than yellow based ones). The only thing I shouldn't be wearing is black. (I was wearing a black cardigan at the time).

Although she didn't really tell me much that I didn't already know, it gave me a bit of confidence in picking out outfits to wear.

When I started this challenge, I wasn't quite sure what the outcome would be. I thought I might find some good advice and make some small changes in my life, but I never thought that after 3 weeks I would feel as different as I do. Maybe setting your mind to something does make a difference.

Sarah x

Why I cancelled my Gym Membership

Credit

I want to get fit. I want to get healthy. I want to loose weight. I want to build up some muscle. I want to do all of that, and yet I still cancelled my gym membership. Why? Because I don't like the gym.

I've never liked working out. PE at school was always my worst subject, and the thought of doing exercise for fun didn't even cross my mind. Yes I dance, and I love to dance, but to me that doesn't seem like exercising. I can dance for hours and enjoy every minute. Ask me to spend 10 minutes on a treadmill and I'll be bored out of my mind after the first 30 seconds!

Part of my reason for joining the gym in the first place was because I was travelling a really long distance home from work every day, in ridiculous amounts of traffic and it would take me an hour and a half on average to do it. I could drive to the gym, work out for 45 minutes, and then drive home and only be home about 15-20 mins later than if I'd headed straight home from work.

If I was to go to the gym now though I'd have to really convince myself to do it. If there was even the slightest excuse as to why I couldn't go, I'd take it. I've even used finishing work late (as in 10 minutes late) as a reason why I couldn't go. I wouldn't have gone for another hour anyway, but that was irrelevant.

I tried to combat my hatred for the gym by doing classes, but the timings of them weren't great and I could never get booked on any of them. I started doing kettle bells on a Friday night which I did quite enjoy, but one half hour class each week doesn't justify paying a full gym membership.

Whilst I still want to loose weight and become more healthy and more toned, the gym just isn't working for me. And as my boyfriend keeps telling me, everything I need to do to get the body I want I can do at home or outside. I don't need the fancy gym equipment to manage it.

So this is why I've cancelled my gym membership. It isn't for me. I've tried it, it was ok, and yes I may go back to it eventually. But for now I've taken up running outside and find that much more fun than spending half an hour in the darkness of the gym. I get fresh air, I do some cardio, I get to explore my local area. And I've found that my local community centre offers a kettle bells class too for a fraction of the cost of my gym membership. Win-win!

Self Confidence & Body Image: Week 2

For those of you following my June journey, you might remember that I set myself a bit of homework last week; to write a list of my strengths and weaknesses. The point being that if I can identify my strengths, I can build upon them, and if I can identify my weaknesses, I can learn to accept them and move forward.

Strengths

Willing to help others                         Can see the bigger picture

Trustworthy                                        Team player

Meets deadlines                                  Honest

Self-Motivated                                    Good with computers

Quick learner                                      Want to improve myself

Can look after myself                          Independent

Weaknesses

Decision making                                Don’t like to say ‘No’

Over thinks things                             Speaking in front of large groups of people

Trust people too easily                      Spend too much time worrying about what other people think

Unfortunately, I don’t think this exercise had as much impact as I hoped for. Listing my strengths and weaknesses is something I do every year as part of my work appraisal, and something I’ve done as part of job applications all through university. I found listing my strengths to be just as easy as writing a list of weaknesses, and none of the weaknesses I thought of were things that I hadn’t already realised over the past few years.

My challenge now is to move forward by accepting my weaknesses and building upon my strengths. Luckily I had an opportunity to do that this week.

Work's been...interesting....the past few days. As a result of something that was announced last Tuesday morning, I had a big decision to make. Do I apply for a new role within the company? Or not?

This gave me the opportunity to really test my ability to make decisions. I failed massively at over thinking it, spending 3 days arguing with myself over every little detail. I ended up overthinking so much I dreamt about the decision, and it's outcome, and as a result didn't get much sleep last week. I talked to a few different people to get their views and opinions on what the right decision was, and took on board their comments. But annoyingly no one would make the decision for me.

Amazingly though, I woke up on Friday morning feeling very relaxed and calm, something that I hadn't felt all week. And I'd made a decision.

I was so proud of myself for coming to a decision, and I knew it was the right thing to do for me. I went to work and told people the decision I'd come to and I didn't start to re-question it. Definite progress! Let's hope I can keep this up.

I’ve also tried this week to continue with my #ILoveMyselfBecause tweet challenge, but from Thursday I must admit I forgot about tweeting it. This week at work was a bit overwhelming and I just completely forgot about it. I'm still finding this challenge hard, I can't think of a new reason every day as to why I love myself. But I'm persevering.

Monday - #ILoveMyselfBecause it’s 7am & I’ve already been for a run & showered. I’m normally still in bed.

Tuesday - #ILoveMyselfBecause I am good at finding nice restaurants to eat at.

Wednesday - #ILoveMyselfBecause I try my hardest to do what is right all the time.

Thursday - #ILoveMyselfBecause I’ve found something I love to do. Dance. And it’s a brilliant distraction from the world.

Friday - #ILoveMyselfBecause I woke up knowing that I’d made the right decision.

Saturday - #ILoveMyselfBecause my hair is in good condition (felt so proud when my hairdresser told me).

Sunday - #ILoveMyselfBecause I'm the expert popcorn maker in my relationship.

This week I'm off to a colour me beautiful event. I'm not quite sure what to expect as it's an event through work, but I'm hoping to learn some tips on style and colours that suit me. I tend to dress in a very smart-casual style that covers the body bits I don't like, and is comfortable. But maybe I'll be able to find stuff that suits me better and build by confidence? We'll see how it goes.

Sarah x